"My Supports"

I am an independent person and when I think about my emotional supports would prefer to think that I don't have any and am capable of life's challenges, big and small, on my own.  However, of course, this is not true.  I think my emotional supports rotate as the issues I am dealing with rotates.  My children are a huge support for me and seem to know when I need a little space.  They are all boys and very aware of how I am feeling.  I think that is unusual for boys. I must be more open with my feelings than I think I am.  Raising my kids, working full time and going to school keeps me pretty busy.  My oldest son is a huge support to me in that he will walk the dogs, make his bed, wash his clothes and make his lunch and dinner, sometimes without being asked.  He is very good and helpful and I don't think I tell him that enough.

When I began thinking about this assignment last week and what supports existed in my life a very special person kept filling that role.  I have been in a relationship for over a year with a man who is a big part of my life.  I did not realize how much I rely on him to support us, and me, both practically and emotionally.  He is supportive in that he can give advice or just listen depending on the situation.  We live about 30 miles apart and have 6 kids total and when I am overwhelmed by it all and looking for a way out he seems to be able to shed light "on the bigger picture" and show me what is more important in this relationship.  He has saved us many times, from the really big issues to small irrelevant ones.  Sometimes he can be frustrating and not say anything at all and that can be upsetting.  Later, I will look back and realize that it was exactly what I needed, to be able to work that issue out on my own.  He is also a very helpful support to me also.  When I need something done around the house he is able to do it.  When I am not able to mow the lawn or get something done he will come and do that.  That is a huge help to me.  Of course, if we were to go our seperate ways I would be able to go on with my life.  I rely on him in many ways to support our relationship and be a big part of it and if the relationship were to fall apart and not exist then that support would not be needed.  I hope that never happens but only time will tell.  We have a lot of factors in our relationship that can easily push us apart.  However we choose to live in the moment and this moment is good.  He is my best friend and I am grateful to have this support in my life

Unfortunately, my blackberry is another support.  I tried to use a regular phone but couldn't do it.  I cannot live without the calendar part of the phone.  I do not like the expensive part of it but the calendar is the only way I can keep up with appointments and events.  I am never far away from my phone and if I were to loose it would not know where I needed to be.  When I think about loosing valuable stuff, I would also not like to loose my debit card.  I do not carry cash or write checks so use my card.  If I were to loose my debit card I don't know how I would get groceries or gas until I got the new one in the mail.

The teachers and other staff I work with are very supportive.  They are so good to me and an asset in the classroom.  I am very fortunate to have two teachers who can work with me as a team and know what needs to be done without me saying anything.  They know the importance of building relationships with families as much as I do and the kids like them very much.  It is difficult to work in this buisness with staff that frustrate you or do not have similar teachign styles and I am very lucky.  My supervisor is also very supportive.  If I have personal issues with my children or something else or just need a mental health day she is great about letting me have that time.  She is a very busy person and always takes the time to ask me how things are going in my personal and professional life.  I have not had a supervisor like this before and it is just another reason why I love my job.

Lately I have been thinking about looking for another job.  I just described a great working environment but have been teaching preschool for many years and do not have health benefits.  So have been thinking about a change.  When I thought about a challenge I thought about becoming unemployed.  I would never leave my job without having something in place.  I have never been without a job and I think this situation would cause me a lot of anxiety.   The State of Michigan is not a good place to be without a job.  We have huge unemployment rates and lots of people looking for employment.  I would need a lot of support.  I would need financial support from my mortgage company, the bank that I make car payments to, the utility companies, and the grocery store.  I would probably have to give up my blackberry.  I would have to rely on government programs to help me live and keep the things I own.  There are government programs in place to help people who loose their jobs.  I could also collect unemployment.  Emotionally I would need support from my relationships.  I could probably rent my house and live with my friend but this would put a huge strain on our relationship because I would be devestated to not have a job.  I would need support from Walden University.  Finding a job would become my priority and completing papers and coursework would have to wait.  My grades and commitment to my education would not be a priority for me anymore.  Plus, I would probably wonder why I needed a Masters degree when I didn't have a job anymore and trying to find a job in any field.  Hopefully this will never happen.  I am a proactive person and when I feel like the environment I work in is becoming unsettled I usually will begin looking elsewhere so that I am not left without a job.  I am sure support would come from my family if I were in a situation like this.  I think it must be very dificult to live without a paycheck.